This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
