I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
