I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
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