I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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