I just threw up on my dentist
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Randomize
