Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize