did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Randomize
