ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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