With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
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