i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
