I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
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