I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
