he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
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