You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
