I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Randomize
