we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
