it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
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