fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
