i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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