Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
When are your genitals available?
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
