Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
