Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Randomize