The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
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