addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
