remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
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