All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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