Got a toothbrush?
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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