Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize