i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
