I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
