let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
