My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
where are my pants?
in the oven.
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