god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize