He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I take back everything I said about communal showers
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
