Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
