just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I can't turn off my feet"
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
