it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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