we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
