are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
