We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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