I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
