maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
