You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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