Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
