fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
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