do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
