Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
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