Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
