he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
