im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
