Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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