Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Randomize
