i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
