Apparently you make a good broom.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
