I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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