i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize