You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize
