I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
