i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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