Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
